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All issuesVolume 338, Issue 4IT NewsHumor

Russian Oligarch's Financial Network Crashed Thanks To A Crank And A Cleaner

The Register, Friday, May 29th, 2026

A chandelier's clockwork mechanism destroyed network cables, shutting down an oligarch's investment firm's entire floor.

An IT support technician working for a small investment company managing a Russian oligarch's European assets discovered that an entire floor lost all network connectivity after cleaners operated an elaborate chandelier with a clockwork lowering mechanism.

Upon investigation, Nathan found half a dozen Ethernet cables tangled and shredded around the chandelier's gears, causing both WAN and LAN to fail completely. The incident raised questions about responsibility - whether it was the person who left unprotected cables near the winch mechanism or the cleaner who operated the winch without noticing the cables being damaged.

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